Many times over the past 15 plus years of ministering on the streets it has seemed and I have envisioned being on a battlefield and I am in the middle of heavy duty warfare crying out for help. This is never for my personal gain but to do the work that He has called me to do. Have I been over zealous in the past? Probably so! Ok, yes I have! I am striving to take things to the Lord in prayer instead of venting my frustrations for all to hear. I have many times opened fire before taking time to think through what I was shooting at. Just yesterday I wanted to fire back and did not. I heard of a pastor in an area where I minister that said to one of his leaders "all he ever does is asks for money online". My flesh wanted to take a big shot at that but I didn't. All I thought was "what does he do every Sunday when he passes the plate"? I do not pass the plate. He also was interested in me RENTING space from his church??? I kept my mouth shut! I ask the Lord to make me more like Him and I truly am striving for that. Will I fall short in the future? Probably so! Over the past several days I have felt good when the Lord has put the brakes on my tongue when I have wanted to voice something that did not need to be said. I have taken that time to think it through then thought "I will pray about that" or "I just need to drop that thought".
Psalms 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.
One of the hardest areas for me is to see the massive waste of money in the church. What I must get into my head is that this is between "the one wasting" and the Lord. Calling that out is not going to put those funds into our account. I have envisioned what this ministry could do with the thousands that are spent but again I am not going there anymore! I will make my request known to the Lord. I will be led by Him in how and who I contact for our needs. I know without a doubt that He is taking this ministry to another level and I must be prepared for this!
Philippians 4:6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.
The Lord has had His hand on this ministry and I know that without a doubt. There are so many things going on that there is no way that I could be operating without Him. I have been over five years since my last paycheck. He has provided our every need just like He said he would. Sometimes I have taken my eyes off of Him and looked at the big picture only to be overwhelmed. It is like when Peter got out of the boat.....
Matthew 14:29 "Yes, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted. 31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. "You have so little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt Me?"
The flesh weakens and the doubt comes in but I know that I continue to get stronger in this area! Anyone that would look at the operations of this ministry would think that there is no way that we can operate on what our bank account says but again, each time He makes a way. Right now we are looking at adding a large expense with the new building. I know that I must keep in mind that this is His plan not mine and that He will make it happen. We have all of us covered for our expenses for our mission trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Now we are believing for the expenses for the van repair then it will be to have the immediate funding needed for the building. We are believing for all this to be in place before we leave for New Orleans on the 25th of February so that we can focus on what we are going there for and that is souls!
Again, if I have offended you in the past if it was because of my flesh I repent. Never will I ask for forgiveness for those that have been offended by the Word of God. It's His Word not mine, I am just the messenger! Some quit giving to the ministry because they are convicted by the Word of God for the sinful lives they are living. I can not do anything about that either other than pray that they get right with the Lord. A huge thank you to all that pray for this ministry and help financially to allow us to do what the Lord has called us to do! I am striving to have my attitude be the same as Christ Jesus!