As I walked in the door I was taken back to all the locations. For those that do not know the story of how Angie ties into this I will tell of the things that I remembered so well. The first thing that I saw was the long table that I sat at with Angie toward the end when she asked me for an update on Eileen. During that conversation as I told Angie that she did not have long to live Angie placed her hand on mine. I did not think anything of it then other than her love and comfort which I feel that she would have done for anyone in that situation. This would come back to my mind at a later date. I did not have the relationship with Angie that Eileen had. I would talk to her very briefly as she came out to help with the ministry at times. Eileen would talk and talk about Angie after being with her. She would have me join her in prayer for Angie and the things she was going through. On several occasions I held hands in prayer with Eileen as she prayed for the Lord to put a godly man in Angie’s life. Eileen really loved Angie.
After I was told the room number of the man I was there to see I started down the hall. I passed the visitors room that made me think of all those that visited and the many conversations I had there. I accidentally passed the room I was looking for and realized that I was at the door of the room Eileen had been in. There are so many memories in that room. I remembered the last time Eileen raised her tiny little arms to praise the Lord as the praise & worship music played. I remembered all the brokenness of the family. I remembered seeing Angie sitting there holding Eileen’s hand. There were so many other things that took place in that room.
After standing there for a short time I turned to go to visit Timmy. Timmy was a very troubled guy who I had many encounters with on the streets. He was a nice guy who had an awful problem with alcohol. I know that his sister will be reading this and I do not want to bring any hurt to her. As for anything that I post I pray that somehow, some way that it will help someone else in a similar situation they are doing through. I deal with so many people just like Timmy in nearly a daily basis. There are so many hurting families out there because of the loved ones being addicted to alcohol or drugs. As I sat in the chair beside Timmy’s bed looking at a man that I had talked to so many times I was so saddened to see in the condition he was in. As I tried to wake him so that we could talk there was only one time for seconds that he looked at me and attempted to talk. I asked him if he remembered me from Holloway Street and he said he did. He quickly went back to sleep and would mumble at times but never was able to communicate again. I believe that when I first met Timmy several years ago he had already severely damaged his body with the lifestyle he was living. I knew through our conversations that Timmy had, had a relationship with the Lord. Our last conversations he would talk much more of the Lord but I was trying to help him because he had hooked up with someone that had given him some false teachings. Timmy could be very stubborn, he did not want to hear me so he quit stopping by our headquarters. At his sister’s request I went and found him one day because she was in fear of his health and well-being. Timmy knew that day that I cared for him. I was glad to be able to bring his sister and brother in law the peace to know that he was okay at least for then. I prayed while beside his bed that even though to my knowledge right now he is still alive that he had true peace with the Lord. I will use the pictures and thoughts in my mind of Timmy to be able to minister to those that are in similar situations and pray that people will think about their end. Just last week the guy who was with Timmy the last time I seen him on the street stopped in and was talking me helping them that day. This was not about me at all other than being the messenger the Lord was using to work in this family and with his friends. I was torn as I stood up to leave and I must admit that I was angry with the devil that he had destroyed Timmy’s life and has and is destroying so many other lives.
As I was leaving my thoughts went back by that long table again. Something that the Lord had showed me when he was revealing that Angie would be my wife was her hand on mine at that table and Eileen’s hand in hers in her room. It would have been the furthest thought from my mind to think that when Eileen was praying for Angie’s husband that it would be me. I walked out of the building with so many thoughts racing through my mind but also as I looked at the van thinking I was done here for now which made me feel relieved. As I started to drive out of the parking lot yet another thought came to me and that was the emptiness that I felt 11-7-11 after I had gone in that room for the last time seeing Eileen’s shell laying there breathless. I was so happy for her that she was in the presence of the Lord, something we had so many conversations about toward the end. The feeling I had myself though was a feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do. After over 28 years with someone I loved so much it was over. Death is always a hard thing but I do not believe that there can be a worse time to go through it than with a spouse. I am not downplaying anyone else’s situation but a husband/wife relationship is such a close relationship if it is a solid relationship and ours truly was. Those reading this that have gone through it know what I mean. Again, I know that those that have lost children may feel that it the worst. With all respect, I am just telling the way I felt by my experience.
As I started to head home the Lord brought good thoughts to my mind. I then started thinking of how He has blessed me since then. I thought of my absolutely wonderful wife that he blessed me with. Angie is such an awesome woman who loves the Lord with all her heart. She has such a passion for making me happy. She has truly done that and continues to do it. We have a beautiful marriage and we are truly best friends! I know without a single doubt in my mind that the Lord answered Eileen’s prayer with a little smile on his face thinking “they would have never thought about it working out this way”. I am so glad and blessed today that we followed His plan. Angie and I believe that Eileen too was so happy also with the way things worked out. I praise the Lord for what He has done and continues to do in my life!
Psalms 30:5 Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.